25 Reasons
by gangsterdorothy
Summary: ‘What is it that you want?’…‘You, honestly’. The story of a sure and unsure man. 100 word chapters. Twilight Twenty Five. Slash Edward/Jasper. Dark themes.
1. Earnest

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: Earnest  
Pen name:gangsterdorothy  
Pairing: Jasper/Edward  
Rating: M

A/N: This is my entry for the TT25. This is a pretty crazy thing I'm writing here. Its 25 chapters, 100 words each.

I will warn you, kids. This is slash, so if that's not your cup of tea, you might not like this. Also, there is some violence and sadness in here and it's not pretty. If you don't like that either, I suggest you go read something made of fluffernutter.

----

Prologue

"Get up", he said. "Get up!" He wouldn't stop yelling at me.

I was helpless on my side on the asphalt.

"Why are you doing this?" He swiftly kicked me in my stomach. My lungs deflated from the shock. Hearing him mutter 'I'm not gay', over and over hurt more than the boot pressing into my intestines.

I heard him sniffle, a sob vibrating in his throat. Even when he made my heart ache repeatedly, I knew that his actions were ones he couldn't control.

I still cared for him. And despite his relentless tantrum, I knew he did too.


	2. Prelude

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: Prelude  
Pen name:gangsterdorothy  
Pairing: Jasper/Edward  
Rating: M

---

Chapter 1

"Jasper. Don't you love this place?" My roommate Alice loved gay clubs. Safe house for the straight girls. "Maybe you'll meet Prince Charming tonight."

Unlikely. Like regular clubs, these places crawled with horny vultures. I could smell the desperation in the air.

I spent most of my night by the bar. Alice danced with glittery men to hypnotic, wordless music.

After my third drink, I saw him. He was stapled to the wall, the hardest looking thing in the room.

He was either disgusted or scared. Whatever he was thinking, I understood what he meant when he looked at me.


	3. Honest

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: Honest  
Pen name:gangsterdorothy  
Pairing: Jasper/Edward  
Rating: M

---

Chapter 2

His name was Edward. He was tragic and in need. He had everything going for him.

"Who're you here with?" We stood outside the club, away from the noise.

"No one." He mumbled. He hardly spoke clearly. I think he was afraid of his own thoughts.

"Why?" I lit my cigarette, lighting one for him.

"It's a secret." He was still in the closet.

"I see." The smoke from my mouth left in a thick fog. "That's hard."

He took a drag from his cig, saying nothing.

"It got better. Once I finally admitted who I was."

"I doubt it."


	4. Willing

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: Willing  
Pen name:gangsterdorothy  
Pairing: Jasper/Edward  
Rating: M

----

Chapter 3

"I've never kissed a boy before, but I know I feel this way. You ever feel so strongly about something, but know nothing about it?" Edward and I sat on my apartment building's stoop. The cold bit our cheeks.

"I know what you mean. I believe everyone is born with it, but they never realize it until that one moment." I scooted next to him. His eyes watched my every move. "Do you want me to give you that moment?"

Our lips came together for the first time. He sighed in relief, finally feeling like himself for the first time.


	5. Morose

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: Morose  
Pen name:gangsterdorothy  
Pairing: Jasper/Edward  
Rating: M

----

Chapter 4

Our lives entangled together. Edward and I talked every night. I'd listen to him breath and it was more meaningful than most conversations I've had.

We were in no rush. We were company trying to not drown in misery. We waded in each other's water.

"What's the best meal you ever ate?"

"My mom's lasagna. She made her own pasta. I'd help her cook. They were the happiest moments of my life."

Little Edward turning the handle, creating strips of pasta. It made me smile.

"You don't cook with her anymore?"

"No, she died when I was twelve."


	6. Comfort

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: Comfort  
Pen name:gangsterdorothy  
Pairing: Jasper/Edward  
Rating: M

---

Chapter 5

Edward lay on my bed, his ear pressed against my heart. I enjoyed these moments. Time stood still, my hands tugging through tufts of his hair.

"What is it that you want?" Edward's chest rose and fell against my side, his arm draped across my stomach.

"I don't understand the question." There were lots of things I could think of, but in many contexts.

"What do you want out of life?"

I still wasn't entirely sure if he knew what he was talking about, but I knew this. "You, honestly." The want for him to be himself, above all else.


	7. Languid

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: Languid  
Pen name:gangsterdorothy  
Pairing: Jasper/Edward  
Rating: M

---

Chapter 6

His lips challenged mine, asking me to go deeper and closer. He was shy the first few times we kissed, the fear his secret would be known eating away at his happiness. Once he let go even more, his passion for everything burned indelibly to my skin.

We tumbled and fell, our backs hitting uneven surfaces. Our hands found locks of hair to grab or push back.

We were undefined, enjoying the simplicity of discovering each other.

"I dream." He whispered.

"Of what?" I asked as we lay on my couch, our bodies pressed together.

"Staying like this. Right here."


	8. Alone

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: Alone  
Pen name:gangsterdorothy  
Pairing: Jasper/Edward  
Rating: M

----

Chapter 7

Edward brought me to his house three months later. He was my age, but lived at home; he said he hadn't found his calling in life yet.

His father Edward Sr., sat on the sofa, eyes glued to the television.

"Dad, this is my friend Jasper."

"Hey." Senior monotonously replied. His burp filled the room.

Edward shrugged, before leading me upstairs.

We passed his brother Emmett with a tall woman in the hallway.

"Baby bro, have you met Tanya?" Emmett quickly escorted her to the stairs, mimicking the squeezing of her ass.

Edward turned to me. "I hate my family."


	9. Restraint

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: Restraint  
Pen name:gangsterdorothy  
Pairing: Jasper/Edward  
Rating: M

---

Chapter 8

His room was blank. Nothing cluttered the walls. Desk was neat. Books stacked in clean rows on his bookshelf.

He reached under his bed for a locked box, opening it with a key from his pocket. "I purposely keep my room evidence free."

The box bursted open with porn magazines, several scratched DVD's. I spotted a photo of us inside.

"I err…use it as material from time to time." He blushed, before closing the box up.

"Never restrain yourself with me. Promise me." I placed my hand on top of his.

His eyes sang of sweet, unadulterated freedom. "I promise."


	10. Worry

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: Worry  
Pen name:gangsterdorothy  
Pairing: Jasper/Edward  
Rating: M

---

Chapter 9

Alice came home from her work at a local coffee house. She whole heartedly approved of Edward. A sweet, naïve kid; or as she said 'Don't fuck him up.'

"Hey Jazz, I saw Edward today." She took off her cap, her hair flattened with frizzy strands stood up at attention.

"Oh?" My financial report became less interesting. Everything lost meaning when I heard his name.

"Yeah. He was with Emmett, before he left him with a girl. And I swore he said something about a date."

My heart stopped for a second. I knew this had to be a misunderstanding.


	11. Bitter

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: Bitter  
Pen name:gangsterdorothy  
Pairing: Jasper/Edward  
Rating: M

---

Chapter 10

"Emmett forced me into it." His anger channeled into harsh fists at his sides. "I didn't think he'd leave her with me. She wouldn't stop talking about her cat, Norris."

I found it amusing once I learned this was against his will. Edward on the other hand was bitter.

"I…why would someone just leave a random girl with a stranger? Better yet, why would she stay if she didn't know me?"

"Maybe she liked you. Maybe she's desperate."

Edward sat back on my couch, his head tilted up at the ceiling.

Finally, a smile. "Norris. Wonder if there's a Chuck."


	12. Apathy

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: Apathy  
Pen name:gangsterdorothy  
Pairing: Jasper/Edward  
Rating: M

---

Chapter 11

'yep. theres a chuck.' Edward texted me on his 'date'. Emmett had officially set them up.

'good to know. tell me if u score.' He'd probably kill me for that later.

'i'll score latr, but not w her.' I felt his cheeks dotting in pink, his voice whispering these words to me.

'confident, r we?'

I didn't hear back from him for ten minutes. 'sorry, we were ordering and she talked. i don't like her, but felt rude txting as she talked.'

Edward let his anguish and apathy go through his texts. 'i miss u so much rn.'

'feelings mutual.'


	13. Rapacious

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: Rapacious  
Pen name:gangsterdorothy  
Pairing: Jasper/Edward  
Rating: M

---

Chapter 12

We made love that night. Our teeth and tongues fought for space. We slammed against the mirror in my hall, falling from its nail in the wall and shattering like tiny glass snow flakes onto the floor.

Hands did everything short of ripping clothes off each other's bodies. Our legs stumbled restlessly as we fell back to my bed.

I kissed the scars on his back. He told me stories of his father belting him. Edward tried to justify it; the death of his mother taken out on him.

I wanted to melt him, then mold him into something loved.


	14. Awe

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: Awe  
Pen name:gangsterdorothy  
Pairing: Jasper/Edward  
Rating: M

---

Chapter 13

I awoke the next morning to the smell of breakfast. Out in the kitchen, Edward had put together some bacon, eggs and toast for us.

"Morning." I smiled at Edward.

His hair hung in his face, wet from a shower. "Morning."

I hugged him from behind, encircling my arms around him.

"Thanks for making breakfast." I kissed his neck. "No one's ever done that for me before."

"I promise to do it more often."

He fed me a piece of crispy bacon over his shoulder. I hummed in approval, before he turned around, his lips soaking me through and through.


	15. Vibrant

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: Vibrant  
Pen name:gangsterdorothy  
Pairing: Jasper/Edward  
Rating: M

---

Chapter 14

Neon colors never came close to the intensity of Edward. His commitment to us blossomed tenfold. He let go little by little, his shell chipping away to the aching, needy center underneath.

We went out on an official date at a restaurant in the nearby city. He wore my favorite sweater of his; a green that matched the shade of his eyes. We kissed against a brick wall in an alley, picture perfect rain trickled from the clouds.

His willingness to hold hands in public gave me hope. Maybe our future could be colored like this at our own volition.


	16. Lithe

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: Lithe

Pen name:gangsterdorothy  
Pairing: Jasper/Edward  
Rating: M

---

Chapter 15

"The secret ingredient for my chili is…" I walked in front of Edward and my's shopping cart, pulling a dark container from the shelf. "Cocoa powder."

"That makes no sense." Edward scoffed, smiling at me.

"Lots of things don't, but I think they're necessary." I nudged him, curling my hands around the cart handle.

Our fingers brushed against each others, almost sighing at the touch.

Up ahead, I saw Shelly Cope, a Bible toting church goer. She eyed our proximity.

When I turned to joke with Edward, he was a few feet behind.

"Sorry. I couldn't." He mumbled his regret.


	17. Patience

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: Patience

Pen name:gangsterdorothy  
Pairing: Jasper/Edward  
Rating: M

---

Chapter 16

"Edward, I was only standing next to you." I hated being mad at him. I knew he wasn't ready to come out.

"Please, be patient with me." Edward was on the verge of tears. He probably thought I wanted to break up with him. "Now is not a good time."

"When is, Edward? There is no magical time to admit it."

"My dad wants to set me up with a job. I need this job. If I tell him, he'll…I know it won't be good."

"And money is more important than your happiness." It was a fact.

"Now, it is."


	18. Red

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: Red

Pen name:gangsterdorothy  
Pairing: Jasper/Edward  
Rating: M

---

Chapter 17

Three weeks into his job, I didn't see him. He went to work the first day, promised to call but never did. I went about my days, but they were a blank blur. Not only did I love him, but I feared our time apart might have hindered whatever progress he was making. Even if it was small.

After two months, I settled with anger. We had no official end and that bothered me more than anything else. His abandoning of our relationship to us made me furious. I like to see things through, even if others didn't want to.


	19. Taut

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: Taut

Pen name:gangsterdorothy  
Pairing: Jasper/Edward  
Rating: M

---

Chapter 18

I drove Alice to the headquarters of her job. She was up for a promotion and had to be interviewed at the company's main building. She wanted some moral support. I wanted to do something positive in this lull of negativity.

Across the street, I saw him. He was with Emmett and a tall, muscular guy. He was smiling and laughing. Was he assimilating himself with them or putting on a façade?

I wouldn't find out that day, but I learned my friend would start a new job as regional manager. I wish my security was as taut as hers.


	20. Obsession

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: Obsession

Pen name:gangsterdorothy  
Pairing: Jasper/Edward  
Rating: M

---

Chapter 19

Everyday, I wondered why Edward ended things suddenly. Besides the day in the supermarket, I thought he was becoming comfortable.

He showed no signs of disliking me. Despite being a quiet person, I knew when he wanted his space. I knew that all too well.

I missed him. I couldn't move on. Over time, I tried to convince myself that I was in love with the idea of him. That one day he would become someone that I could see myself with. But the potential saddened me and invaded me even more.

I couldn't help it. It was my plague.


	21. Slip

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: Slip

Pen name:gangsterdorothy  
Pairing: Jasper/Edward  
Rating: M

---

Chapter 20

"Hey faggot." I heard someone call in the parking lot, as I left the grocery store late one night. "Did you fucking hear me? Hey faggot."

I turned around to deal with these assholes. My heart plummeted into my stomach.

Emmett and two big guys stood together. Along with Edward.

I did my best to save face. "Can I help you?"

Edward marched forward, standing nose to nose with me. I didn't know what he was doing until I felt his right hook slam into my cheek. My legs stumbled as I slipped onto the wet pavement. My view altered.


	22. Fragments

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: Fragments

Pen name:gangsterdorothy  
Pairing: Jasper/Edward  
Rating: M

---

Chapter 21

Edward pulled me up by my collar. He dragged me to the nearest car, shoving me against it. My stomach hurt. My heart bleed.

"What are you doing?" I felt the blood drip down the side of my mouth. My cheek sore. My nose clogged with snot.

His arm pressed into my throat, my eyes meeting his. They were lost and crazy. Nothing looked rational or within reason.

Then, I watched him. His face turned soft, like the look he showed freely to me before.

"I can't be gay." He choked on his sob. "I can't be with you, Jasper."


	23. Collide

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: Collide

Pen name:gangsterdorothy  
Pairing: Jasper/Edward  
Rating: M

---

Chapter 22

He removed his arm, the air rushing back down my throat and into my lungs.

I glanced over at Emmett and his crew. They stood waiting for something to occur.

Then, Edward's fist swiftly punched me in the side. I slid like a rag doll down the side of the car.

Edward crouched down in front of me. His forehead pressed against mine, he was shaking and shivering. He wouldn't stop crying, his snot and tears falling onto my shirt.

"I want you, but I can't. Please…please understand." Our eyes met, he was a boy lost, unable to be found.


	24. Bound

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: Bound

Pen name:gangsterdorothy  
Pairing: Jasper/Edward  
Rating: M

---

Chapter 23

There was no adhesive strong enough to mend the assault on my heart. I spent the next few days trying to add every circumstance up, but nothing equaled out.

Edward had been brainwashed, forced to be the person he wasn't. Unfortunately, I was not equipped to fight that battle. There was passion there, but the urge to go forward would likely get me killed.

I could only hope and wish that Edward wouldn't succumb to the demons that were working to change him.

Outside my window, a loud engine was idling and roaring. Curious, I glanced out and saw Edward.


	25. Dark

The Twilight Twenty-Five  
Prompt: Dark

Pen name:gangsterdorothy  
Pairing: Jasper/Edward  
Rating: M

---

Chapter 24

I descended down the stairs to the car. Edward made no move to get out, just staring at me. His bloodshot eyes ached. Somber and lost, wild and unknown.

In the front seat of his car sat a suitcase, the box from underneath his bed on the floor.

"I'm going to be gone for a while. Please---"

"---understand." I finished his sentence.

Edward exhaled, the weight of himself strapped to his shoulders. He pulled away from the curb.

I watched him go. The setting sun burned my retinas, my eyes brimming with tears.

That was the last time I'd understand.

---

A/N: Thank you for reading this little experiment.


End file.
